Showing posts with label Child Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child Abuse. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

First Christmas Letter!

Merry Christmas!! (tomorrow)

This year I realized that I'm to the age where my parents no longer consider me part enough of their family to warrant more than 2 sentences in their Christmas letter--which means it's probably time I start doing my own like a big girl! So here goes:


Merry Christmas!!

This year has been filled with all sorts of awesomeness and blessings and such... blah blah blah. In February of this year, I went through a lot of training and became a CASA volunteer.  CASA stands for "Court Appointed Special Advocate" and my job is basically to be nice and play with kids... kind of. Really what I do is work for the Guardian Ad Litem (the children's lawyer in child abuse/neglect cases) and help him with a specific case. My GAL has about 200 cases that he's supposed to get to know the children on a personal level to try and determine what is in the child's best interest while also appearing in court cases--so you can imagine how appreciated I am as a volunteer member! I received a case with 2 wonderful little girls who I'd go see and take out for lunches, and check up on their school progress. Their case closed this September which happy and sad. Happy because it was a happy ending for everyone involved, but sad because now I don't see them anymore! I got to see them once in October for one of my girl's birthdays and they are doing very well. Now I'm waiting for another case to be assigned to me.


 During the summer I received an acceptance letter for the Social Work Bachelor's program at Utah State University and I've started into that. I really enjoy going to school for something I'm passionate about and my attendance and grades reflect that. I'm at the magical spot in my education where I don't have to take any more classes that I think are pointless or boring! Next semester I get to pick my practicum for the next year which is my year-long internship in my chosen area. Right now I'm thinking medical social work at a hospital, or possibly 10 other areas... it changes a lot day to day but that's the benefit of being a social worker--I can change my mind whenever I want! 

Something else that is new with me is I've started a new job.  I work at Youthtrack which is a residential treatment facility for juvenile sex-offenders.  It's all boy facility and I really enjoy my work there--I get to work with the younger group of boys, there are 8 of them all around 13 years old and they are my joy...usually! It's a very emotionally taxing job and I feel as though I've inherited 8 teenage boys with extreme behavioral problems at times.  Other times I feel like I'm making a huge difference and I'm very fond and protective of my boys.  We had a leaf fight once and I like to play Just Dance videos on YouTube for them to dance along to and that always gets pretty funny! It's tough at times as they sometimes lash out at my when they get frustrated with their treatment, but overall I find it very rewarding and I usually look forward to going to work and hanging out with my boys! 

Brooks and I have now officially been dating for 2 years as of yesterday (12/23) and I couldn't be happier.  He works at Youthtrack with me and really enjoys it (for the most part) as well.  He does well there and it has helped influence his decision to possibly change his major to psychology and start into that. He would ideally like to work at a college level counseling and doing research or he thinks he may enjoy teaching as well at a college.  I'm happy he's found something that he says feels really right and I'm excited for our debates on psychology vs social work (Social work is obviously the best!). He does very well in school and has been participating in the school's improv club/team and has on occasion taught their weekly improv class and has really enjoyed that.  

My family is doing well and I'm expecting 2 new baby nephews in the next couple months. (Probably not the correct way to phrase that, but oh well!!) I'm looking forward to 2 more babies Aunt Nikki can spoil! Hope this finds you well... blah blah... the magic of Christmas!

Nicole



MERRY CHRISTMAS


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Abuse: Saying Sorry Isn't Enough

I usually don't talk about anything super serious on this blog, but I decided that now was the time to change that. I just finished reading the whole "A Child Called It" series of books and with the recent case of Ethan Stacy hitting so close to home (Literally in Layton) I decided that I have some thoughts on the issue that I would like to bring up.


I feel like the older I become the more I am aware of what a terrifying world we live in. Abuse is… well abuse is something that I feel really strongly about actually, I’ve done a lot of research papers and essays covering different aspects of abuse and I feel like every time I present my research it makes people uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that it seems that they’d like to just pretend that it doesn’t happen. I gave a presentation on sexual abuse in my college English class, my class was then supposed to ask me questions which would show how knowledgeable I’d become on my subject and fill out anonymous papers on my presentation. When I finished my presentation and it came time for questions no one—not one person—asked me a question. When I got my papers back almost half of the comments were “You should have picked a different topic” or something along that line.


Well you know what? I’m not going to pick a different topic! It astounds me that in on a college level people choose to do research topics on the negative effects of tanning beds or something equally trivial. I’m sorry that my research makes you feel uncomfortable, but you need to face the world for what it is sometimes and if you’re ignoring problems like this you are only making them worse. I’m sorry that this is coming off harsher than I intended, but it really upset me when I gave my presentation to my college class and they reacted negatively towards me for my topic.


It’s probably because of where I live that I get negative reactions over my topics, everyone wants to believe that we’re living in a utopia here, but the fact is when it comes down to statistics, Utah is VERY far from perfect. Maybe the reason abuse problems in Utah are so high is because nobody is willing to address them. Well I’m going to right now, and if this makes you feel uncomfortable, I’m sorry… but I think you should read it anyways.


ANIMAL ABUSE:

Animal abuse is a terrible occurrence, and studies now show that there has been a rise in abuse.In the year 2000, there were 380 cases of animal abuse and cruelty. In 2005; the amount of cases had risen to an unbelievable 1,070 cases reported. That’s an increase of 1,690 in only five years. (Heartland Cat Rescue & Adoption Society, Inc.)


Most people would agree that animals deserve some kinds of rights. When asked about animal rights Kristi Adams, a Humane Law Enforcement officer in New York City, said this:


“…Animals have the right to be free from all human cruelty and exploitation. When I say rights, I am not talking about giving an antelope the right to vote in elections. I simply feel that animals have an interest in living, avoiding pain, and even in finding happiness; and they should have those rights.”


Right now animal abuse and it’s cases fall under state jurisdiction. Because of this, depending on what state you live in the punishment for animal abuse varies greatly. In fact, in some states you will be more severely punished if you smoke in an elevator than if you maliciously torture and kill an animal. Does that seem really messed up to anyone else?


Maybe you’re not thinking animal abuse is such a big deal because you may be thinking to yourself “What’s the big deal, it’s not like they’re people.” Well if that’s what you’re thinking I think you’re a horrible person, but more importantly you are wrong.


Animal abuse is so much more than just that (as if that wasn’t horrible enough!). Animal abuse is a crime that has been linked to so every other possible form of abuse. In most cases of violent crime the perpetrator more or less “practiced” on animals.


71% of battered women report that their spouse threatened, hurt, or killed one of their animals as a form of abuse towards the women. (The Humane Society Of The United States) Many of the women say that they didn't want to leave their husbands because they were afraid of what would happen to their pets if they did. In addition to be used as a threat, animal abuse is also an indicator of child abuse. Many children who abuse animals do so because they themselves are abused in their homes. Finally, animal cruelty is strongly linked to violence later in life. Serial rapists and murderers often have animal abuse as one of their past offenses that escalated into abuse of people.


So if people will not do not think laws are needed protect the animals themselves, why shouldn’t they be enacted simply to stop a problem such as child abuse or a serial killer before it starts?



CHILD ABUSE:

I have never officially done any research on the topic of child abuse, so I’m less knowledgeable in this particular subject. A quick internet search brings up these statistics: More than 36,800 complaints of child abuse and neglect were made last year IN UTAH!!


Who could abuse a child? Like really, even the lowliest of low criminals look down on child abusers in prison!! If you’ve never read the book “A Child Called It” I recommend it, it’s not super well written or anything like that, but I think it’s a worthwhile read still. The book is a semi-autobiography about one of the worst child abuse cases in California. (There is some controversy surrounding the book, and I’m aware of that, so don’t bring it up.) In the book his mother heavily abuses him for years. And this isn’t just ‘I’ve lost my temper and I’ve got to hit someone’ abuse. This is cold and calculated torture.


Probably what made me most mad was that no one did anything about it. The neighbors all knew, his other brothers knew, his dad knew and did nothing!! The school knew for a long time before they finally got it taken care of. THEN if you read his brother’s book “A Brother’s Journey” you learn that she starts beating another child. Why would the judge let this woman keep her children?! Why wouldn’t the school, who knows for sure what is happening to this second child do nothing?!


Times were different back when these men were younger, child abuse was rarely brought into the public eye, it was all hushed away and skeletons in the closet. People say that there is so much evil in the world now and that our generation is messing everything up. Maybe the only difference between then and now is that our generation doesn’t keep secrets as well. 36,800 complaints last year, well that’s probably a fraction of the cases that are actually going on, but at least people are aware that it is happening. Maybe having the statistics go up for how many cases are reported wouldn’t be a bad thing, maybe there are just as many child abuse cases as there were in the past, the only difference is that my generation is actually trying to make a difference about it.



DOMESTIC ABUSE:

I haven’t really done a lot of research about domestic abuse either, I did but it was all focused on South Africa, so nothing really applies to here. So this will also be mostly opinions than facts.Every year, more than 1.5 million women and 834,700 men are physically assaulted and/or raped by their intimate partner in the United States.


I especially like that statistic because it mentions the problem with men as well. Obviously the problem is worse with women but the gap has been closing and as you can see there is a good amount of domestic abuse happening to men as well, which is something most people never really hear about.


Domestic abuse is especially bad because of the conflict of interest that happens. You love the person who’s abusing you, but you don’t love the abuse. Lots of people are really judgmental when it comes to the abused in a domestic abuse case because they think that it would be so easy for them to get out of it. Here’s the thing: if you’re married right now or you’ve been dating someone for awhile now who’s become really special think about what you would do if this person started hitting you. If I went on a date with a guy who was a stranger and he hit me I wouldn’t continue to date him, that’s easy. Now if I’d been married to someone for a couple years and they started hitting me, I honestly don’t know what I’d do.


I would like to bring up something that most people are completely unaware is happening and that is marital rape. Just because you're married to someone doesn't give you the right to them, consent is still needed. Without willing consent (not coercion) sex with your spouse still qualifies as rape. Marital rape has been a crime in all 50 states since 1993. Utah defines rape as:


(1)    A person commits rape when the actor has sexual intercourse with another person without the victim's consent.

(2) This section applies whether or not the actor is married to the victim.

(3) Rape is a felony of the first degree.

Utah State Code, 76-5-402

So according to Utah code, not only is marital rape illegal, but it is also prosecuted as normal

rape.

Utah ranked 16th nationally for the percentage of women killed by men in 2001. Each year, an estimated 40,000 Utah women are physically assaulted by an intimate partner and 194,000 women are subjected to emotional abuse(http://health.utah.gov/vipp/domesticViolence/overview.html)



SEXUAL ABUSE:

I think that rape has become too much of a taboo subject, because of no one really speaking about it often people assume that it is a rare occurrence. How wrong I was. 1 in 3 women will be raped at some point in their lives. 1/3 of girls have been victims of unwanted sex before they even graduate from high school! Up to 44% of women have had someone attempt to rape them, which in my book is basically the same thing. Whether or not the rape actually took place I think that they’re going to suffer just as much emotionally as if it had actually happened. Some women don’t even consider what happened to them as rape, but whether they did or not 30% considered suicide afterwards and 41% are frightened but still expecting it to happen again. They can’t trust anyone anymore. Because a lot of women don’t consider what happened to them as actually being raped I think that the statistics are probably higher than what studies show! (Poulson)


Most people if they were to think about sexual assault or rape would imagine a dark alleyway and a stranger waiting in the shadows, while this type of assault still happens, it is not the most common. Statistics show that over 80% of the time the victim knows their attacker, in Utah, the statistics are even higher with over 92% of the victims knowing their attacker.


With so many of the victims knowing their attackers, you’d think that it would be easy to catch rapists on account of knowing exactly who he is and where he lives. But usually the opposite is true, because the victim knows their attacker; they have a harder time turning him in.Sometimes the attacker is someone that the victim admired or trusted and they feel that because their attacker seemed to be a good person, that it must have been their fault and that somehow they brought it on themselves.


This type of thinking is what makes it so that only 16% of rapes are actually reported to the police nationally, and only 10% of rapes are reported in Utah. These statistics are really shocking considering that in Utah, victims are more likely to know their attackers but less likely to report them.


Because of this, many of these rapists are getting away with what they have done. Only 6% of rapists will ever serve any jail time. This means that 94% of rapists are still walking around outside of jail; this is an especially scary statistic because rape is a serial crime. Rape isn’t something that someone does once; the average rapist will commit rape 8 times before they are ever apprehended!!


Well there you go. That is my 2 cents of the subject of abuse. Maybe you're someone who doesn't relate well to statistics (I sometimes find myself in more of that category) in which case here are somethings to watch that I think are amazing.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtNYA4pAGjI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gspElv1yvc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v59JLfMJjOI

^That dance is about domestic abuse^

Anyways, I'm not meaning to play on your emotions, but these are videos that really mean something to me. And this is the end of my serious post.