Goodbyes

Goodbyes. I hate them. In a scale of 1 to 10 on how much I hate them, I hate them. This years were especially hard. I go Snow College, which is a Jr. College aka only 2 years of school. MEANING that I'm never going to see a lot of my friends from there, like ever. People are graduating and going on missions, and by the time they come back (if they ever do) I'm gone already to my own college. It's the worst. But what I think are even worse than goodbyes, is not having the opportunity to say goodbye--and even worse than that, not having the courage to say goodbye.

Goodbyes can be kind of an awkward thing if you think about it. What if you say goodbye to someone who didn't really care enough about you to want to say goodbye? What if you say a goodbye forever and then run into the person a couple more times before you leave, then you're both kinda like "uhhhh" because you don't want to do the whole goodbye thing again, but then you didn't really end up saying goodbye because you kept seeing each other. These are the reasons why I usually end up not saying goodbye to someone and then regretting it later.

Probably the weirdest things about goodbyes is that they don't seem like goodbyes at the time; like it doesn't ever really sink in that you're not going to see each other for a long time (maybe ever). I think if I had truly realized that at the time of me leaving I would have said more goodbyes and they would have been more heartfelt. I would have let everyone who was important to me know exactly how much I appreciated them. I would have told the people who took the time to talk to me and show friendship that I appreciated the way that they treated me. No one would walk away with me showing my gratitude for who they are and what they did for me.

In any case, I didn't. I am now regretting that. The thing about goodbyes is that they happen all the time--and who knows; maybe I'll learn how to give the perfect goodbye, hopefully before it's too late.